Listening means love. It means that we sincerely care about another’s opinions and emotions.
Here’s the problem: Many of us have a hard time listening when someone around us is emotional or is disagreeing with us. That’s why it’s helpful to have a few little sincere statements or questions in our back pockets:
•Tell me more.
•Help me understand.
•What would you like to see here?
•How long have you felt this way?
The next time one of your kids expresses their opinion…or their hurt…be sure to lend a sincere and empathetic ear, showing loving interest by using the points above. Remember: The more you listen to them, the more likely they’ll listen to you. If the tone turns disrespectful or manipulative, you can always switch gears and repeat, “I love you too much to argue” or “I’ll listen when your voice sounds calm like mine.”
Dr. Charles Fay
Here’s the problem: Many of us have a hard time listening when someone around us is emotional or is disagreeing with us. That’s why it’s helpful to have a few little sincere statements or questions in our back pockets:
•Tell me more.
•Help me understand.
•What would you like to see here?
•How long have you felt this way?
The next time one of your kids expresses their opinion…or their hurt…be sure to lend a sincere and empathetic ear, showing loving interest by using the points above. Remember: The more you listen to them, the more likely they’ll listen to you. If the tone turns disrespectful or manipulative, you can always switch gears and repeat, “I love you too much to argue” or “I’ll listen when your voice sounds calm like mine.”
Dr. Charles Fay